Frequently Asked Questions
Helping individuals and couples navigate their emotions, relationships, and sense of self — with compassion, evidence, and a little metaphorical magic — is what I’m all about. These are some of the questions I’ve been asked in the past based on my approach, theory and how I support clients through their desired change.
More questions?
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally focused therapy is an approach that aims to help people better understand and express their emotions in a safe and healthy way. By working with emotions, people are able to gain a better understanding of what might be driving the decisions they make or the thoughts they have. EFT encourages and helps people develop and refine open, honest communication—both with others and with themselves.
What is Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory is actually the foundation on which Emotionally Focused Therapy is based. Attachment theory suggests that our parents and families play a large role in how we develop as people while we’re growing up. We learn many things from our parents, and those are often implicit and can play a big part in how we form relationships, how we communicate, how we love, and how we find safety and value from others and ourselves.
How does EFT help couples?
EFT helps couples by removing the barriers between open and honest communication. Initially, this can look like identifying patterns of undesired behavior like blaming or withdrawing. Then, understanding deeper emotions and needs while being able to be vulnerable with one another helps build emotional safety where couples can build new positive patterns of communication.
Can therapy help after infidelity?
Yes! Therapy can help with many breaches of trust or “ruptures,” including infidelity. This is usually done by processing emotions, understanding what happened, and restoring safety. This can be for individuals or couples, and for couples that wish to repair the rupture and stay together, therapy can help find ways to rebuild trust and improve communication within the relationship.
Can therapy help after infidelity?
Yes! Therapy can help with many breaches of trust or “ruptures,” including infidelity. This is usually done by processing emotions, understanding what happened, and restoring safety. This can be for individuals or couples, and for couples that wish to repair the rupture and stay together, therapy can help find ways to rebuild trust and improve communication within the relationship.
Is it okay to start therapy on my own?
Absolutely! It’s often a great idea and totally okay to start therapy on your own. Sometimes couples seek couples counselling and it turns out that an individual in the relationship would benefit more from individual therapy rather than couples counselling. Either way, starting on your own is a great place to start.
How long does couples therapy take?
This is a great question with a complicated answer. It depends. It depends on the type of issue you’re facing, how long the challenges have been going on, and what your goals are for therapy. Meaningful progress can be made in 8–12 sessions. Sometimes it can take 3–6 months or even longer depending on the issues. Another contributing factor is the client/therapist relationship and how important it is to have a therapist that matches your personalities. Many therapists (including me!) offer a 20-minute FREE consult so we all can get a feel for each other and see how we vibe together.
We feel totally disconnected—does therapy fix that?
Feeling disconnected in a relationship can be really isolating and painful, and therapy can help. Therapy can help identify what’s going on, help heal old (or new!) wounds, and improve communication that can all help reduce that disconnected feeling in the relationship.
You may feel, unheard, disconnected or lost and I would be honored to support you through these challenges.